MMT

I'M A BULIMICi had to say that. i had to see it written down. i had to admit to myself how really out of control i am. i know that when i eat in private...and stuff the food into my mouth that it's still bingeing. that i am still soaking up the calories. my eating disorder has become a shocking reality these last few weeks. it's really hit me how addicted to food i am. it's no longer just eating too much, or not eating enough, it's a problem and i can't stop. i know i need help. maybe even inpatient. i think if someone on the outside was in charge, they would tell me i needed more that just counseling. i wish i could get control. why can't i go the other direction and starve? it's just as bad a feeling as being this full all the time.